It filters through

It's Five a.m.
My brain just will not shut off.
I keep trying.
I stare into nothing, attempting not to think.
The red numbers pierce my eyes and drill into my thoughts.
For some reason, as my eyes were finding some deep, meaningful connection with the alarm clcok, I begin to sing inside my head
All my mind could conjure at first was the line "Seeing red again".
Within seconds, I thought of you.
It's so ridiculous how that works.
Thinking of nothing, and ending with thinking of you.
I consistently wonder if I am the only one that has similar paths of thought.
Alright, well fine...
What I want to say is - Sometimes I wonder if you do the same thing.
I would never tell you.
I think that way when I can't sleep at night.

I hate being afraid.
Is it wrong that I'm scared at five a.m. , and I want nothing but someone to tell me I am okay?
By someone, you know I mean you.
I wish the clutter that is my head right now would disintegrate.
I long to see things clearly, as they are meant to be seen.
The sun is beginning to bleed through the windows, however it doesn't shed any light on the situation.
Perhaps Jaded isn't so bad.
I'm not a fan o delusions.
That by no means says I don't have the common human nature to set things aside.
I should stop, but I just can't.
I shouldn't, but I do.
I'm only human.