I'm not quite clear why I pretend I don't want in.
Maybe its the need to lie to myself.
Perhaps its my old friend, fear, once more for whatever reason.
I can't open up anymore, yet I have the desire.
I desperately want it all to gush out of me.
I want to give this feeling away, but I'm not cruel enough to present this mess to anyone.
Everything is this shamble of imprefection I have created.
I've waited so long.
I've held on for so long.
It never ends, and it's time to let go.
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