Confusion consumes me once more.
I have decided to welcome it.
Head back, Arms wide, Eyes closed, A deep inhalation.
Acceptingly, I allow my emotions to take me.
The tidal wave of everything is refreshing.
This is not defeat.
In order to lose, it must be a battle.
I have never supported physical war, now I refuse to feed the emotional one that was once on going inside me.
I did not give up.
Perhaps this is just a peace treaty of sorts.
My mind, my mouth, my heart, my actions finally working together instead of against each other for a common goal.
I am not weak.
My energy is just better suited occupying itself elsewhere.
My soul will have much more free time now to adventure, and I am stronger for the explorations.
I did not swallow my pride.
It belongs to me; I am not owned by it any longer.
It can rise, swell, and I will control it.
Control brings power.
I'm not afraid of you anymore.
I am definitely no longer afraid of how I feel.
My thoughts are also free; I am no longer pushing them away.
They are not being shoved and hidden as was the norm.
Infact, thoughts flowed freely-even overly so-while I was on the phone.
They continued to flow in the shower, listening to an ipod, lying in bed, and even when he was inside of me.
It's odd how much one smiles when one just lets it all fall away.
I think my shell tearing apart-slowly but surely-is the first time I haven't wanted someone to pick up the pieces and glue my life back together.
You can leave those on the ground.
I need you, but I no longer need you to fix me.
We have more important things to handle, like affection for one example.
I adore my bad influence.
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